Oh no. It’s back.
Every year, across this nation, there is a time when the college campuses that dot this beautiful land come together for a singular purpose: to dance. In conjunction with the Miracle Network and their #ForTheKids campaign, these universities put up their greatest dancers in an all-out battle royale. On its face this event is philanthropic in nature, of which the proceeds and funds raised will be donated to bring awareness to local children’s hospitals. However, there is a deeper, more insidious truth to this event:
You better be ready to dance your ass off and dance well, for on the days of dance marathon, there will be no mercy.
In the arena that is the floor of dance, legends can be made and even the meekest individual can ascend to the status of a GOD. With that said, reputations and dynastic lineages can also be destroyed, for there is no greater turn-off than a bad dancer.
For your benefit, OmegaFi is here to be your guide through the murky waters of dance competition. Whether it’s Dance Marathon or your school’s own unique charity event, we’re here to give you the definitive lesson plan on not only retaining your dance dignity, but touching the hem of greatness along the way. So You’ve Been Challenged to a Dance-Off: Making a Charity Count While Getting Served.
Step 1: Master the 1-2 Step
Baby steps, my child. Life is a series of baby steps. Rhythm can be difficult to master for anyone, particularly as music genres seem to split and proliferate faster than Viagra-fueled rabbits. With changing beats and tempos, how do you keep in lock-step with the beat? You simplify, simplify, simplify. The 1-2 step is as simple as it sounds, so please don’t be the person concentrating on your feet, counting your steps aloud. That would be bad.
Instead, concentrate on the overall melody, not the bass drums, as those will switch up and leave you twitching like Animal from the Muppets. Once you catch the speed of the overall melody, the 1-2 step is simple. Stand with your legs together, step to the side with one leg and bring the other together as you bend at the knees and almost slide into it. Do the same for the other side to the beat, rinse and repeat! Now you can dance to any beat; just listen for the melody and adjust your side step accordingly.
Step 2: You Are Galactus the Absorber of Music
What we mean is that for the weeks (maybe even months) leading up to the event, you need to become a master DJ. Not really, but you need to listen to as much popular music as possible. Dance Marathon is a feat of endurance in its simplest form. That means that there will be a whole lot of music being played, spanning a wide array of genres and categories, old and new, so get your listening on. You should be spanning through rock classics (particularly 80s and 90s rock) as well as 90s, 2000s, and current hip-hop. You should familiarize with EDM, but who are we kidding, you already have. The key is to listen to this music, and honestly, just dance to it in your room, in the shower, or whenever you have the opportunity to rock out in a group or by your lonesome.
Step 3: The Journey to the Center of Youtube
There are a lot of popular dances out there. A lot. And most of them aren’t as easy as The Dab. For example, the dance craze of 2016 was based on the song “Juju on that Beat” and literally was a compilation dance of several other popular (and obscure) Atlanta hip-hop dances. Needless to say, nowadays popular dances aren’t always user-friendly. Although you could easily two-step your way through the 2-3 minutes in which these songs are played, that’s weak. A real champion conquers the challenges that lie before them and shocks the world with their grit and determination. You’re a champion and you know it. Instead of being the bystander who watches the confident dancer command attention in the middle of the crowd, challenge that person to a dance battle and beat them.
How, you ask? Your practice your ass off. Thanks to the tutorial nature of Youtube where every other video seems to be a how-to, you can learn virtually anything you want on Youtube with options from which channel you’d like to learn it from. Dances are no different. Research the dances that are popular, or popular songs that you know will be played and the dances to them. For instance, if “Hot Boy” comes on by Bobby Smurda, well, get ready to start rocking. If “Whip/Nae Nae” gets played, get that whip, nae nae and stanky leg ready. In truth, you don’t have to be a master of these dances to command the respect of your peers. What will earn their respect is the fact that you stood up in the face of self-doubt and fear and busted a move when others wouldn’t dare.
That’s victory. That’s the heart of a champion.
How Do I Know if I’m Ready?
Confidence. You’ve successfully graduated from missing the beat when tapping your feet, and you’re comfortable enough to bop a little in the presence of others. If a “good song” comes on, you’re out front and center ready to jam out and any semblance of insecurity is non-existent. On the dance floor you’re the master of your own universe, the Lord of the Dance, and the reincarnation of Lil Saint from You Got Served. Stay hydrated, step out onto that floor and own. It’s your world, G. Just remember no matter what, “Do it for the kids.”
If you enjoy dancing, recently formed your own dance crew, and are looking forward to serving others while avoiding getting served yourself, tell us about it in the comments below!